Chartbreaker 9-7-10

Here we go again with another look at the wacky world of the Billboard Hot 100.

97- “Trailerhood” by Toby Keith

Toby Keith’s consistency is amazing. He has had at least one top 100 single per year since 1999. Having said that, what is up with this song? Trailerhood, really? It’s a song where Toby Keith proclaims that living in a trailer park is a little piece of paradise. The eye of the beholder is a fascinating thing.

96. “Fuck You” by Cee-Lo Green

It’s about time that this song finally made it onto the charts. I am loving some modern Motown sound lately thanks to this song & Eliza Doolittle’s “Pack Up”. Such a fun song. Have you heard the radio edit, “Forget You”? It just doesn’t work in the slightest. Who knew how much one little curse could matter? Little trivia fact- this song was co-writtten by Bruno Mars.

92- “The Bed Intruder Song” by Antoine Dobson & the Gregory Brothers

Welcome back, bed intruder. Umm. Wait. That doesn’t sound right.

78- “Kissin U” by Miranda Cosgrove, 79- “Round and Round” by Selena Gomez and the Scene

In a strange bit of kismet, Disney’s sitcom starlet and Nickelodeon’s sitcom starlet ended up back to back. I honestly enjoy both of these song. Then again, they both have some serious power behind them. Cosgrove got Dr. Luke’s help, while Gomez got Kevin Rudolf. I wonder what their musical careers would be like without the assistance. Sadly, we aren’t going to see that any time soon. I’m predicting big things on this chart for Gomez’s next single, written by Toby Gad (“If I Were A Boy”, “Big Girls Don’t Cry”).

71- “Somebody To Love” by Justin Beiber

This song was so close, sooooo close to falling off that charts. It was as if all the Beiber fans realized that we were going to have a Billboard chart without a Justin Beiber song and rallied to his aid. Ugh.

67- “Last Friday Night” (TGIF) by Katy Perry

So, this is like Billboard’s running gag right now. Four weeks ago, we had a “Just Like The Movies” debut. The next week it fell off and “Circle the Drain” debuted. That song fell off and “E.T.” debuted. and now “E.T.” is gone and we’ve got TGIF. So, is the world treating Katy Perry song like they have expiry dates.

52- “La  La La” by Auburn f/ Iyaz

This song has been sitting on the verge of the top 50 for weeks and I can’t understand why. So, here’s the concept, poorly paraphrase Lady Gaga’s “Telephone” and add in a sample from a Euro dance track from 2000 and add in Iyaz because he likes to pimp himself out Nicki Minaj style (he’s been on songs with Charice, New Boyz & Miley Cyrus this year). Why?

41. “Like a G6” by Far East Movement

I’ll admit that up until today, I had no bloody clue what it means to get slizzard. That not withstanding, I have become quite a fan of this song. Sure, I still don’t know if they are talking about a Ford G6, a Pontiac G6, a G6 plane or what but this song is a lot of fun.  And I must not be alone in feeling that way as the song made a big jump from 69 to 41.

29. “The Boys of Fall” by Kenny Chesney, 26. “Stuck Like Glue” by Sugarland

How could you not love Sugarland? They're hanging with Snoop!

These two songs exemplify the best and worst in country on this chart for me. On one hand, there is a catchy and fun song from Sugarland with some nice little guitar bits and a faux-reggae break that is full of charm. The other is a way too dramatic ballad about playing football. I would rather take that Toby Keith tune over this. I understand that he’s trying to portray this piece of Americana where towns are wrapped up in Football, but this is a little much. When he starts talking about the American Flag and how much everyone wants the ball, I shake my head.

22- “Erase Me” by Kid Cudi f/ Kanye West

This is the week’s big debut. I heard the song and I can kinda dig Kid Cudi’s attempts to sing over the rock tinged beat. But what is the deal with Kanye’s verse? Is it me or is it just one long set up for a poop joke? He names the girl Aria at the beginning of the verse, so he can say “I couldn’t get my shit out. I hope you die Aria” at the end. Horrible.

4. “I Like It” by Enrique Iglesias f/ Pitbull.

Billboard’s Hot 100 isn’t the only chart I check. I check the UK Official Charts too. On both sides of the pond, this song cannot get past #4. Now part of the reason is the musical dynamo known as Dr. Luke. He’s got “Dynamite” by Taio Cruz and “Teenage Dream” by Katy Perry both up at the top of the charts. And then there’s also the dynamic duo of Eminem & Rihanna, who have held #1 in the US for the last few weeks. But I think it’s more than just that. I think the song is cursed. If this song doesn’t climb out of #4 soon, I’m blaming it all on J-Woww, Snooki & M.V.P.


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