Chartbreaker 8-31-10

I have been a watcher of the music charts since I was a little kid. I used to fight with my parents about going to church because I’d miss Casey’s Top 40. I used to read Joel Whitburn’s Big Book of Top 40 hits for fun. I have always been interested in the strange world of the Billboard Hot 100. Now, on Audioshards, I’m going to give my perspective on the week’s chart.

X- “The Bed Intruder Song” by Antoine Dobson & the Gregory Brothers

I’m a little sad to see this song fall off the charts already. Not because it was some piece of musical genius (though the Marching Band version is phenomenal), but because the story seems to lack a climax. I was hoping this would lead to Dobson appearing on the VMAs backed by the Boston Pops with a rap break by Nicki Minaj (cause she’s on everything!). Oh well. At least, Dobson can take the money and move his family out of the projects. Happy ending.

96- “Black Rain” by Soundgarden

The reunion of Soundgarden has produced a Hot 100 hit. Wow, the last time Soundgarden had a Hot 100 hit was…..wait….according to Billboard, Soundgarden has never had a hit record until now?!? No “Fell on Black Days”? No “Pretty Noose”? No “Spoonman”?! No “Black Hole Sun”?!?! I don’t understand how rock records fare on Billboard. Clearly they are getting bought and getting the airplay and the fanbase but somehow, it’s just not enough to crack the hot 100? I call shenanigans…

95- “Love Like Woe” by The Ready Set

Couldn’t just call it “Love Like Whoa”. Nope, had to try to give it some meaning by calling it “Love Like Woe”. Doesn’t make it any better.

85- “143” by Bobby Brackins f/ Ray J

Really? A song based around the old-fashioned beeper code for I Love You. And it’s got Ray-J. If anyone knows about love, it’s him. He proved it with that wonderful VH-1 show of his. He found love on that, right?

70- “Comeback Song” by Darius Rucker

So, Hootie is back and got a new song, his come back song. I love the narrative in his titles. It’s like the story of trying to regain his success. First song was “Don’t Think I Don’t Think About It” (he misses the spotlight). “It won’t be like this for long” (he’s struggling). “Alright” (frustration). “History in the Making” (he’s gonna try). “Come Back Song”. I can’t wait to see what’s next.

68- “2012” by Jay Sean f/ Nicki Minaj; 65- “Letting Go” by Sean Kingston f/ Nicki Minaj; 27- “Bottoms Up” by Trey Songz f/ Nicki Minaj; 22- “Your Love” by Nicki Minaj

Over exposure? Her debut album doesn’t drop until late November. She’s on all those songs plus she’s got a song with Kanye West about to come out and collaboration with on the way.  By the time 2012 comes around, we are going to be seriously burnt out of Ms. Minaj. Must she be on every song? I’m expecting to see Lady Antebellum f/ Nicki Minaj soon.

59- “Lover, Lover” by Jerrod Neimann

I kinda dig this song. I would love to know where he stumbled across this song which was a #1 hit in Australia and decided this would make a great country song.  I guess Neimann has a good ear for this stuff. I also like what he said about the song recently on “I really want to stress today that a great song — since I didn’t write it, I can say it — a great piece of art can translate to many different people. It’s not just tied down to one format and genre.”

47- “If I Die Young” by the Band Perry; 42- “E.T.” by Katy Perry; 8- “California Gurls” by Katy Perry; 3- “Teenage Dream” by Katy Perry.

I’ll take the Band Perry over Katy Perry right now. Katy Perry has littered the charts with Dr. Luke/Max Martin production. Note- I have no hate for Dr. Luke. I think it takes skill to make a good catchy pop song and he does it time and time again. He’s figured out an amazing formula. But the songs he’s done with Katy Perry are pretty vapid. In fact, I feel like he took the Ke$ha “Animal” album and just handed it to Katy to do over again. Mash2Mix already showed the similarities on the “California Tik Tok Gurls” mashup. Meanwhile the Band Perry has grown on me with a nice ballad about life and death. I love this verse:

A penny for my thoughts, oh no I’ll sell them for a dollar
They’re worth so much more after I’m a goner
And maybe then you’ll hear the words I been singin’
Funny when you’re dead how people start listenin’

 32- “If I Had You” by Adam Lambert

The best thing to come out of American Idol so far (Bowersox needs to put out some songs) is finally in the top 40. In an age where songs can debut in the top 10, this song has been on a slow crawl. And it’s already a top 10 hit in Canada. C’mon USA, get with it!

29- “Deuces” by Chris Brown, Tyga & Kevin McCall

I wonder if they know that: 1) In places like the UK, throwing the “deuces” is the equivalent of saying “Fuck You”, which does work in the song’s context. 2) Then there’s dropping a “deuce”, which I guess works too, kinda. Speaking of “Fuck You”, this chart needs some Cee-Lo Green.

16- “Take It Off” by Ke$ha

I’ve gotta admit. This is kinda genius. Dr. Luke put Ke$ha over the Streets Of Cairo beat and you’ve got a song that is instantly in your head because you grew up knowing the beat. What? You’ve never heard of the “Streets of Cairo”? It’s been in a bunch of cartoons. It’s usually used as the snake charmer song. And a bunch of li’l kid songs are based on it. “There’s a place in France where the naked ladies dance…”, “There’s a place on Mars where the women smoke cigars…”. Hell, it’s even in “Istanbul, not Constantinople”.

6- “Right Above It” by Li’l Wayne f/ Drake

This song debuted at #6. Isn’t Weezy still in jail? The guy is spending an 8-month stint in the hoosegow and releasing hit singles at the same time. I’m baffled by the world.


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